vault backup: 2024-07-13 23:15:57

.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-git/data.json

@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
   "autoSaveInterval": 5,
   "autoPushInterval": 0,
   "autoPullInterval": 5,
-  "autoPullOnBoot": false,
+  "autoPullOnBoot": true,
   "disablePush": false,
   "pullBeforePush": true,
   "disablePopups": false,

.stfolder/syncthing-folder-5e8747.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+# This directory is a Syncthing folder marker.
+# Do not delete.
+
+folderID: lpro7-6ejs3
+created: 2024-07-05T11:40:35-06:00

IT/Deployment docs/Configuring hairpin NAT on a Mikrotik router.md

@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
+Hairpin NAT enables a device on the LAN to access another device on the LAN via the public IP
+
+https://help.mikrotik.com/docs/display/ROS/NAT#NAT-HairpinNAT
+
+From the RouterOS CLI, enter NAT configuration mode:
+```
+/ip firewall nat
+```
+
+Configure NAT to forward any traffic from the LAN net that's directed at the WAN IP to forward that traffic back to the the server in question (You can only forward to a single IP):
+```
+
+```
+I first tried `add action=masquerade chain=srcnat dst-address=192.168.0.6 out-interface=LAN protoco ol=tcp src-address=192.168.0.0/24`, but was getting the error `input does not match any value of interface`. 
+
+Following the advice from <https://superuser.com/questions/1242353/routeros-hairpin-nat-produces-input-does-not-match-any-value-of-interface>, I changed `out-interface` to `out-interface-list`, and the command completed without any errors.
+

personal/mental health/Cognitive behavior triangle.md

@@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
+# Differentiating between thoughts and feelings
+You can say a feeling in one word, but if it starts turning into a phrase or sentence, it's probably a thought.
+
+## Levels of responsibility
+As a way to understand the chain of effect from an event to the feelings it evokes, you can consider the level of responsibility you had. If you notice that the level of responsibility you had in the event doesn't line up with the feelings you're having, you may be placing a greater level of responsibility on yourself than there actually is.
+
+The levels of responsibility:
+1. The unforeseeable -> No way to predict it would happen -> Grief/sadness
+2. Responsibility -> Played a role in the event, but didn't intend the outcome -> Regret
+3. Fault/blameworthiness -> Intended harm; intended the outcome -> Guilt
+
+# The ABC Model
+The ABC model is a way to break the processing of feelings down into discrete steps. It involves identifying an activating event, the belief that stems from that event, and the feelings that stem from that belief.
+
+1. Activating event: "*Something happens*"
+	- What was the thing that happened
+2. Believe/Stuck point: "*I tell myself something*"
+	- What did you tell yourself because of the thing that happened?
+3. Consequence: "*I feel something*"
+	- How did the things you told yourself make you feel?
+
+Are your thoughts from #2 helpful or realistic?
+
+What are some things you could say to yourself instead that are more helpful or realistic?
+
+
+# Books
+(Therapist recommended)
+
+Don't Feed the Monkey Mind - Jennifer Shannon

personal/mental health/Mindfulness.md

@@ -2,9 +2,13 @@ Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of one's internal state, and being co
 
 Rather than self identifying with thoughts or feelings, and saying "I'm feeling ...", or "I'm thinking ..", you can begin to create a level of separation and control by instead saying "I'm noticing the thought of" ..., or "I'm noticing the feeling of ..."
 
-One way to visualize this is by thinking of your state of being as a chessboard. The thoughts and feelings are moving on that chessboard, and you are aware of them, but the chessboard is separate, and it is not
+One way to visualize this is by thinking of your state of being as a chessboard. The thoughts and feelings are moving on that chessboard, and you are aware of them, but the chessboard is separate, and it is not you.
+
+It's important to understand that thoughts are not always accurate, and thoughts are not always reliable. When emotionally charged, the limbic system in your brain activates, resulting in irrational thoughts, which in turn can lead to irrational behaviors. Being mindful and recognizing when your thoughts and feelings may not be rooted in rationality is an essential part of healthy self regulation.
 
 In life, we don't want to operate out of fear. When we are fearful, we don't make the best decisions, especially long term decisions.
+
+
 # Exercises
 ## A.C.E (Dropping anchor)
 This exercise is a form of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It's useful for handling difficult thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, urges, and sensations more effectively. It can help engage in life, grounding you in difficult situations. It can be used to disrupt rumination, obsession, or worrying, and it will help you engage in the task or activity on hand.

personal/mental health/Relationships.md

@@ -7,6 +7,16 @@ If you consider your relationships with the people around you as a set of concen
 
 To grow closer to people, it takes time, slowly opening up and building trust. 
 
+# The R.A.M Model
+The Relationship Attachment Model was developed as a way to understand how relationships should grow to become a healthy, stable relationship. 
+
+The broad premise looks somewhat like this:
+1. **Know**: You should know someone above all else, and knowing them should come first.
+2. **Trust**: After you know them, you can begin to trust them, but you should never trust someone more than you understand them.
+3. **Rely**: After trust is developed, you can begin to understand and meet each other's needs. You should not rely on someone more than you trust them.
+4. **Commit**: You should not commit to a relationship more than you're willing to let the other person rely on you.
+5. **Touch**: To build a deep relationship with an individual, physical intimacy should not be put before commitment, trust, or anything above. This does not mean that those things are a requirement for physical intimacy to take place, but it does mean they should be taken into consideration if you are trying to develop a deeper relationship with an individual.
+
 # Codependency vs Interdependency
 
 In an *interdependent relationship*, both people can be independent, healthy, human beings.
@@ -55,6 +65,29 @@ Creating change in the relationships around you will usually be uncomfortable. T
 
 Going against the status quo is difficult, but the outcome can often times be good. It will require pushing into discomfort.
 
+# The Circles of Control
+One important aspect of mental health is understanding the level of control and influence you have on the people around you. This isn't necessarily about being a controlling individual, it also encompasses the broader aspects of every relationship you make with people. 
+
+A lot of things are outside of our control. Do not confuse what's within your control, and what's outside of your control. 
+
+Imagine 3 concentric circles
+- *The circle of concern* (outermost)
+	- Things like the weather, geopolitics, traffic, natural disasters, war
+	- These are things that can affect us, but there's nothing we can do as an individual to change them, so we need to learn to adapt.
+- *The circle of influence* (middle circle)
+	- Friends, family, job.
+	- Things that are immediate to us, where we have some level of influence. The things you do and say can have an impact. You have influence, you don't have *control.* This is a two way road, other people can influence you, and you can influence them.
+- *The circle of control* (inner circle)
+	- yourself, your actions.
+	- How are you showing up to situations, how are you responding to certain situations. You can't control your thoughts or the types of thoughts, but you can control how much power those thoughts and feelings have over you.
+
+When you mix up what happens in each of the circles, it can lead to anger and resentment. It's ok to feel hurt and confused and frustrated by the things that other people do within the two way street of the circle of influence.
+
+One way that we build trust in a relationship is by taking accountability for our actions. By making mistakes, it provides a chance for you to take accountability for our mistakes.
+
+It's hard as human beings to recognize just how much we don't have control over.
+
+If you self identify as a responsible person, it can lead to you beginning to take responsibility for other people's thoughts and feelings. This is common among anxious people. You can be *over-responsible*. Thinking we can change other people can lead to burnout. The over-responsible mindset calls for people to bend over backwards. Remember to understand that other people are autonomous individuals, and their thoughts, feelings, and actions are not your responsibility. Don't let your perception of your *circle of control* expand beyond what it actually contains.
 # Books
 (Therapist recommended)
 
@@ -63,4 +96,5 @@ Recommended authors:
 
 Recommended books:
 - Hold Me Tight - Sue Johnson
-- The New Co-Dependency - Melody Beattie
+- The New Co-Dependency - Melody Beattie
+- Crucial Conversations