vault backup: 2024-07-17 09:53:18
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@ -34,9 +34,17 @@ When we set a boundary, we are making it clear what *our* actions will be. There
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If we make a request and the other party is unwilling or unable to meet it, you *must* accept their answer. You cannot force something from someone who is unable or unwilling to give more. Don't give into the illusion that if we ask a *17th time*, then they'll give in and become receptive to our needs.
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At this point, we have two choices.
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1. We can accept that *in this circumsta*
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## Ultimatum
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1. We can accept that *in this circumstance*, their behavior is unchanging, and that our needs are not met. This means staying in that situation.
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2. We can set a boundary.
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When setting a boundary, you can ask yourself, "How willing am I to be with this person who is unable or unwilling to meet this need?"
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If a person regularly hurts you and has been unreceptive to our requests to stop, it will create distance and space, or might end the relationship entirely. If a person regularly fails to meet your needs after you've clearly communicated them and given them time to change, you can set a boundary that acknowledges that the relationship is not working in its current state, and take space from it or end it.
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## Ultimatum
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You might find yourself asking, "What's the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum?"
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The line between the two is rather blurry, and it might be hard to quantify in a meaningful way.
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However, the main distinction comes from the fact that a boundary is about our own limits, and an ultimatum is designed to c
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## Having questions
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