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personal/mental health/Difficult Conversations.md Normal file
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# Understanding **must** precede advice
When beginning a conversation, the goal should be understanding, not problem solving. You should aim to make sure there's a *mutual understanding* of the situation before attempting to problem solve. Problem solving and advice should *only* begin when both people feel totally understood, and heard.

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personal/mental health/Relationships.md
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# Skills
There are a few skills that can massively contribute to a healthy relationship. It takes work and practice to refine them.
## Putting your feelings in the words
## Putting Your Feelings into Words
When people are able to find the right images, phrases, metaphors, and words to adequately describe our feelings, there's a kind of "resolution" that comes of it, an easing of tension. In conversation, focusing on finding the right way to explain your feelings can make the conversation more intimate, and more productive, because you can convey your feelings to the other person in a more impactful way.
# Balance
As human beings, we need variety in social interactions. Not even necessarily variety in the amount of different people, but variety in the types and facets of people, and our relationship to them. If we don't have that variety, and instead begin to rely on one person too much to fulfill all of our social needs, it can create a dependance on that person, and create an unhealthy relationship with them.
## Asking Open-Ended Questions
If you consider your relationships with the people around you as a set of concentric circles, a healthy social balance includes people in all circles. You need people that you have close, intimate relationships with, but you also need casual friendships and acquaintances.
To grow closer to people, it takes time, slowly opening up and building trust.
## Asking
# The R.A.M Model
The Relationship Attachment Model was developed as a way to understand how relationships should grow to become a healthy, stable relationship.
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<https://psychcentral.com/lib/codependency-vs-interdependency>
# Balance
As human beings, we need variety in social interactions. Not even necessarily variety in the amount of different people, but variety in the types and facets of people, and our relationship to them. If we don't have that variety, and instead begin to rely on one person too much to fulfill all of our social needs, it can create a dependance on that person, and create an unhealthy relationship with them.
If you consider your relationships with the people around you as a set of concentric circles, a healthy social balance includes people in all circles. You need people that you have close, intimate relationships with, but you also need casual friendships and acquaintances.
To grow closer to people, it takes time, slowly opening up and building trust.
# Forging change in relationships
Creating change in the relationships around you will usually be uncomfortable. Take a look at the status quo, and ask yourself, "would it be better if this relationship was different?"