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personal/mental health/Boundaries.md
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@ -4,7 +4,9 @@ No matter how well individuals think they know each other, they are not mind rea
If not addressed properly, "little" things can become big things that can threaten a relationship when ignored. It's important to *identify* and *express* needs. A lot of trouble and heartache can be avoided if everyone said what they needed rather than pulling away or becoming passive aggressive. If not addressed properly, "little" things can become big things that can threaten a relationship when ignored. It's important to *identify* and *express* needs. A lot of trouble and heartache can be avoided if everyone said what they needed rather than pulling away or becoming passive aggressive.
By being in control of when and how the issue is brought up, resentment doesn't build and the conversation can go smoothly. By being in control of when and how the issue is brought up, resentment doesn't build and the conversation can go smoothly. If the other person has questions, that's *OK*, but you are not required to provide a justification to have boundaries.
Setting and enforcing boundaries will require accepting the limits of our control, and releasing the illusions of control that keep us stuck in unchanging situations. It might mean respecting our needs enough to *make a hard choice to protect them*.
## Feeling Safe ## Feeling Safe
If you don't feel safe physically, mentally, and emotionally, it can be difficult to set and hold boundaries. Even if your lack of stability isn't directly caused by the relationship (lack of sleep, conflict from work, existential issues), it can still impact your ability to hold healthy boundaries. If you don't feel safe physically, mentally, and emotionally, it can be difficult to set and hold boundaries. Even if your lack of stability isn't directly caused by the relationship (lack of sleep, conflict from work, existential issues), it can still impact your ability to hold healthy boundaries.