From 506536c1dbb10e97ea4b560d0beddeb77e327ce2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: zleyyij <75810274+zleyyij@users.noreply.github.com>
Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2024 10:08:18 -0600
Subject: [PATCH] vault backup: 2024-07-17 10:08:18

---
 personal/mental health/Boundaries.md | 4 +++-
 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)

diff --git a/personal/mental health/Boundaries.md b/personal/mental health/Boundaries.md
index 872eb6c..7f5c897 100644
--- a/personal/mental health/Boundaries.md	
+++ b/personal/mental health/Boundaries.md	
@@ -4,7 +4,9 @@ No matter how well individuals think they know each other, they are not mind rea
 
 If not addressed properly, "little" things can become big things that can threaten a relationship when ignored. It's important to *identify* and *express* needs. A lot of trouble and heartache can be avoided if everyone said what they needed rather than pulling away or becoming passive aggressive.
 
-By being in control of when and how the issue is brought up, resentment doesn't build and the conversation can go smoothly.
+By being in control of when and how the issue is brought up, resentment doesn't build and the conversation can go smoothly. If the other person has questions, that's *OK*, but you are not required to provide a justification to have boundaries.
+
+Setting and enforcing boundaries will require accepting the limits of our control, and releasing the illusions of control that keep us stuck in unchanging situations. It might mean respecting our needs enough to *make a hard choice to protect them*.
 ## Feeling Safe
 If you don't feel safe physically, mentally, and emotionally, it can be difficult to set and hold boundaries. Even if your lack of stability isn't directly caused by the relationship (lack of sleep, conflict from work, existential issues), it can still impact your ability to hold healthy boundaries.