vault backup: 2024-07-22 16:03:01

personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md

@@ -83,4 +83,17 @@ It's surprisingly rare for this to happen. People will often leave a problem vag
 
 If you can't simplify the topic, you probably aren't ready to have that conversation. Figure out how to simplify it, then you can decide what your next steps are.
 
-#### Be alert to when the topic changes
+#### What do you *really want*?
+*The only person you can control directly is yourself.*
+
+When having a discussion, you can often be driven off course by emotion, or make unhealthy decisions.
+
+Ask yourself:
+- "What do I really want for myself?"
+- "What do I really want for others?"
+- "What do I really want for the relationship?"
+
+### How to Stay in Dialogue When You're Angry, Scared, or Hurt
+Assumptions are incredibly dangerous. DOn't assume the feelings of others, and don't assume that your emotions are the only valid perspective on the situation. 
+
+*When you let your emotions control your behavior, it can degrade the relationship.*