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personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md
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@ -69,7 +69,11 @@ There are three levels of conversation you may need to have about the issue itse
- **Pattern**: The next time a problem comes up, it means a pattern is starting to develop, or already has. It can be difficult to determine when something's a pattern, and when it's not, but it's important to address patterns early, before they're entrenched, and the problem becomes more difficult to address. As a general rule, the first time something happens, it's an incident. The second time, it may be coincidence. The third time, it is a pattern.
- **Relationship**: As problems continue, they can begin to impact the relationship. Relationship issues get to deeper concerns about *trust*, *competence*, or *respect*. For example, we may begin to question whether we can trust a person to keep commitments, or begin to doubt someone's technical abilities. In some cases, a relationship issue can emerge after an extreme isolated incident.
As a general example, if you have a general problem, you can choose to view it from a few different ways
Once you've broken the larger bad thing down into discrete issues, it's time to filter out all of the issues you've found through a single question: "*What do I really want?*"
Figure out what your highest priority is, then choose the issue that stands between you and that objective.