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personal/mental health/Boundaries.md
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@ -7,6 +7,14 @@ If not addressed properly, "little" things can become big things that can threat
## Feeling Safe
If you don't feel safe physically, mentally, and emotionally, it can be difficult to set and hold boundaries. Even if your lack of stability isn't directly caused by the relationship (lack of sleep, conflict from work, existential issues), it can still impact your ability to hold healthy boundaries.
If you are prone to people-pleasing, fear of disappointing others may make you feel unsafe or scared. It can be a trauma response from an abusive upbringing, or as a way to get love in a family where you experienced emotional
If you are prone to people-pleasing, fear of disappointing others may make you feel unsafe or scared. It can be a trauma response from an abusive upbringing, or as a way to get love in a family where you experienced emotional neglect and/or invalidation.
Practicing self compassion and working with a therapist can help strengthen your relationship. A therapist can also provide healing experiences that can assist you in setting and holding boundaries.
## Demanding You Change Back'
Change can create anxiety in our lives, so it's normal for people to feel emotional about the setting of new boundaries. It's important to understand that they are not necessarily reacting because the change you are making is bad or wrong, rather they are uncomfortable because you are inviting them into new, and unknown territory.
You can validate another person's anxiety or other emotions such as hurt, frustration, or disappointment, but *you do not need to own those feelings*. Pull them closer to help them regain balance, but understand that *its*
# Resources
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-truth-about-boundaries/