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personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md
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@ -105,4 +105,8 @@ In many instances, conflict comes from the fact that each person's story, or the
*personal note*: At this point in the book, I'm realizing that when we don't properly understand the other person and we don't communicate about issues, we can begin to take these points of conflict, and start to attribute them to deeper traits about the other person. EG, you could begin to think of them as "a jealous person", or "a *bad* person", when in reality, they aren't a jealous person, or a bad person (few people are), you just lack the full context. *personal note*: At this point in the book, I'm realizing that when we don't properly understand the other person and we don't communicate about issues, we can begin to take these points of conflict, and start to attribute them to deeper traits about the other person. EG, you could begin to think of them as "a jealous person", or "a *bad* person", when in reality, they aren't a jealous person, or a bad person (few people are), you just lack the full context.
We tell ourselves stories, even when we don't realize it. And fairly often, these stories *are not correct*. When you believe you are at risk of something, you'll often instantly create a story, or a perspective that protects your ego. "I didn't do anything wrong", or "That person is just an x". We tell ourselves stories, even when we don't realize it. And fairly often, these stories *are not correct*. When you believe you are at risk of something, you'll often instantly create a story, or a perspective that's simplistic, and usually harmful. "I didn't do anything wrong", or "That person is just an x", or "It was all my fault", or "I deserved that". These stories are lacking the nuance real life has, and prevent you from addressing the issue in a thoughtful way.
However, any set of facts can be used to create an infinite number of stories, so it's up to you to find the right story to describe the situation.
One way to stop this