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21
personal/mental health/Relationships.md
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@ -55,6 +55,26 @@ Creating change in the relationships around you will usually be uncomfortable. T
Going against the status quo is difficult, but the outcome can often times be good. It will require pushing into discomfort. Going against the status quo is difficult, but the outcome can often times be good. It will require pushing into discomfort.
# The Circles of Control
A lot of things are outside of our control. Do not confuse what's within your control, and what's outside of your control.
Imagine 3 concentric circles
- The circle of concern (outermost)
- Things like the weather, geopolitics, traffic, natural disasters, war
- These are things that can affect us, but there's nothing we can do as an individual to change them, so we need to learn to adapt.
- The circle of influence (middle circle)
- Friends, family, job.
- Things that are immediate to us, where we have some level of influence. The things you do and say can have an impact. You have influence, you don't have *control.* This is a two way road, other people can influence you, and you can influence them.
- The circle of control (inner circle)
- yourself, your actions.
- How are you showing up to situations, how are you responding to certain situations. You can't control your thoughts or the types of thoughts, but you can control how much power those thoughts and feelings have over you.
When you mix up what happens in each of the circles, it can lead to anger and resentment. It's ok to feel hurt and confused and frustrated by the things that other people do within the two way street of the circle of influence.
One way that we build trust in a relationship is by taking accountability for our actions. By making mistakes, it provides a chance for you to take accountability for our mistakes.
It's hard as human beings to recognize just how much we don't have control over.
# Books # Books
(Therapist recommended) (Therapist recommended)
@ -64,3 +84,4 @@ Recommended authors:
Recommended books: Recommended books:
- Hold Me Tight - Sue Johnson - Hold Me Tight - Sue Johnson
- The New Co-Dependency - Melody Beattie - The New Co-Dependency - Melody Beattie
- Crucial Conversations

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personal/mental health/Untitled.md
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@ -1,23 +0,0 @@
Rather than just saying "Get over it", you need to *process* things. You will need to go through moments of frustration, anger, and confusion as you process stuff.
A lot of things are outside of our control. Do not confuse what's within your control, and what's outside of your control.
# The circles of control
Imagine 3 concentric circles
- The circle of concern (outermost)
- Things like the weather, geopolitics, traffic, natural disasters, war
- These are things that can affect us, but there's nothing we can do as an individual to change them, so we need to learn to adapt.
- The circle of influence (middle circle)
- Friends, family, job.
- Things that are immediate to us, where we have some level of influence. The things you do and say can have an impact. You have influence, you don't have *control.*
- The circle of control (inner circle)
- Me
- How are you showing up to situations, how are you responding to certain situations. You can't control your thoughts or the types of thoughts, but you can control how much power those thoughts and feelings have over you.
When you mix up what happens in each of the circles, it can lead to anger and resentment. It's ok to feel hurt and confused and frustrated by the things that other people do within the two way street of the circle of influence.
One way that we build trust in a relationship is by taking accountability for our actions. By making mistakes, it provides a chance for you to take accountability for our mistakes.
It's hard as human beings to recognize just how much we don't have control over.