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personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md
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@ -69,7 +69,7 @@ There are three levels of conversation you may need to have about the issue itse
- **Pattern**: The next time a problem comes up, it means a pattern is starting to develop, or already has. It can be difficult to determine when something's a pattern, and when it's not, but it's important to address patterns early, before they're entrenched, and the problem becomes more difficult to address. As a general rule, the first time something happens, it's an incident. The second time, it may be coincidence. The third time, it is a pattern.
- **Relationship**: As problems continue, they can begin to impact the relationship. Relationship issues get to deeper concerns about *trust*, *competence*, or *respect*. For example, we may begin to question whether we can trust a person to keep commitments, or begin to doubt someone's technical abilities. In some cases, a relationship issue can emerge after an extreme isolated incident.
As a general example, if you have a general problem, you can choose to view it from a few different ways
As a general example, if you have a general problem, you can choose to view it in a few different ways. The content ("This thing should happen") , the relationship ("I don't trust that you will make this thing happen"), or the pattern ("Issues have occurred around thing multiple times in the past"). You decide which of those issues is most important, and you make sure to discuss that, and leave other conversations for later.
Once you've broken the larger bad thing down into discrete issues, it's time to filter out all of the issues you've found through a single question: "*What do I really want?*"