diff --git a/personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md b/personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md index 894ff59..4595d50 100644 --- a/personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md +++ b/personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md @@ -66,7 +66,10 @@ There are a few skills that can help you figure out the right issue, and in turn **Unbundling** There are three levels of conversation you may need to have about the issue itself, and a 4th relating to the *process* of the conversation. - **Content**: The first time a problem comes up, talk about the content - the immediate pain. *If the action or the immediate consequences are the issue, you have a content problem*. This is for when it's the first time something has happened. -- **Pattern**: The next time a problem comes up, it means a pattern is starting to develop, or already has. It can be difficult to determine when something's a pattern, and when it's not, but it's important to address patterns early, before they're entrenched, and the problem becomes more difficult to address. A +- **Pattern**: The next time a problem comes up, it means a pattern is starting to develop, or already has. It can be difficult to determine when something's a pattern, and when it's not, but it's important to address patterns early, before they're entrenched, and the problem becomes more difficult to address. As a general rule, the first time something happens, it's an incident. The second time, it may be coincidence. The third time, it is a pattern. +- **Relationship**: As problems continue, they can begin to impact the relationship. Relationship issues get to deeper concerns about *trust*, *competence*, or *respect*. For example, we may begin to question whether we can trust a person to keep commitments, or begin to doubt someone's technical abilities. + +