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personal/interpersonal skills/Difficult Conversations.md
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@ -109,4 +109,12 @@ We tell ourselves stories, even when we don't realize it. And fairly often, thes
However, any set of facts can be used to create an infinite number of stories, so it's up to you to find the right story to describe the situation.
One way to stop this
One way to do this is to slow down, and retrace your actions:
- **Act**: Notice your behavior; ask "Am I *acting* out my concerns rather then *talking* them out?*"
- **Feel**: Put your feelings into words; ask "What emotions are encouraging me to act this way?"
- **Tell story**: Analyze your stories; ask "What story is creating these emotions?"
- **See/hear**: Get back to the facts; Ask "What have I seen or heard that *supports* this story? What have I seen or heard that *conflicts* with this story?"
Some ways to know if you need to stop, slow down, and retrace your actions include:
1. **Bad results.** You're not happy with the outcome of the discussion, you feel like it didn't properly address the issue.
2. **Tough emotions.** You're feeling strong, negative, emotions. If you're angry, stop, slow down, and ask *why*. Why are you feeling this way? Why are you acting this way? Are these feelings helping you address the convera